Indian Food Blow Out

Thursday, 31 July 2014


Had I known the Spicy Beef Curry would have caused it I never would have ordered it. It began two days on Tuesday evening when Kim and I went out for a bite to eat at our favorite Indian restaurant in the city. I was extremely hungry and ate heartily after the long day at work. Each of us ordered a curry dish. As it turned out, my dish was a doozy. After pleasant conversation and a couple bottles of wine we wrapped it up and headed home. The first onset of rumblings began about two blocks from the restaurant. The sudden activity in my stomach got my attention, though the activity subsided as we continued the walk home. The second phase began as I was brushing my teeth and felt an extreme discomfort as a gas bubble formed somewhere in the depths of my bowels. At that point I knew I was in for a rough one. Being as exhausted as I was, I fell asleep for a couple of hours. I then awoke in a helpless panic as I felt my bowels beginning to regurgitate the curry I consumed earlier. As I was climbing over Kim in my feeble attempt to make it to the restroom, my ass exploded and showered our bedroom wall. I had not put my boxers back on after our love making so there was no barrier between my ass cannon and Kim and the wall. Kim awoke in a panic (not to mention covered in shit) and yelled as the stench overcame her and she realized what had happened. We are still considering hiring a professional cleaning service to do the job, but we are embarrassed to have anyone see it.

Originally posted 2009-09-28 10:14:00.


Hide the evidence

Thursday, 31 July 2014

Once my little sister was outside playing with her friend. When her friend needed to go to the toilet, my sister told her go into our house.She headed to our house but instead she went around the back and went through the wrong gate, one that leads you into another estate. She ran into an abanded  house and unable to find an operating bathroom, ended up taking a big poop on a bench. When my sister went to find her, she discovered her picking the poop up and feeding it to neighborhood dog.

Originally posted 2010-04-20 01:25:00.


Dirty Sin – Shitting in the chapel

Wednesday, 30 July 2014


I went to a Catholic elementary school. It was compulsory that every student stop in the chapel and say a morning prayer every day before class. There was no adult supervision, so most of us went in, genuflected (kneeled down on one knee, pause, and then stood up) and then left for class. One morning when I was in 6th grade, I went in the chapel with a fully loaded bowel. I thought I could relieve some of the pressure as I genuflected. Wrong. As with most of the stories, it wasn’t a fart that came out. Instead, a blast of wet, hot mush came firing out of my ass.
Luckily, I was able to keep my cool. A million plans raced through my head as the warm slush was racing through my Fruit of the Looms and Dockers.
I made it through about a half an hour of class, when the smell was too pungent to ignore. I went up to the teacher and told her I was sick. Apparently she must have known because she sent me to the office without the cursory interrogation.
I called my mom and she kept asking me what was wrong, but I just couldn’t confess my dirty sin out loud so I said nothing.
Finally, my mom came and picked me up and it was obvious she knew as soon as I got in the car. I was scared to go to school the next day but God must have figured I suffered enough, because no one ever said anything. Alleujia!

Originally posted 2006-06-19 13:47:00.


Coach forces player to shit in a bag

Wednesday, 30 July 2014

A Conroe school district coach is on leave while officials investigate claims that he forced a student athlete to defecate into a bag and urinate into a cup, KPRC Local 2 reported.The student said it happened during a bus ride back from a sporting event.Students and parents said they are disturbed about the allegations against coach Joseph Rodriguez but are divided about what action should be taken.”It’s kind of gross and unexpected, but at the same time, to me, it’s not a big deal. It’s an emergency. I mean, it’s only humane to let a child go to the bathroom,” said Barron Fredericks, a Conroe ISD student.The school district would not comment on the investigation.

Copyright 2006 by Click2Houston.com. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Originally posted 2006-04-23 17:21:00.


Panties in the Woods

Tuesday, 29 July 2014


It was a nice Spring morning, a little cool, but not what you would call cold. I was on the golf course with the other members of my regular foursome. We’d caught 4 women at the 13th hole. Now we had a bit of a wait while they hit two shots before we hit our drives. At least number 13 has a nice path going back into the woods, so I headed back there to empty my bladder. As I stood there, hosing down a tree, I saw a flash of pink just a little further into the woods. Having a few minutes to waste, I decided to investigate. so I walked over. There on the ground was a pair of ladies pink cotton panties, totally full of shit. It looked really fresh. About then my friends called me to the tee. The women had moved on closer to the green. I had had a good round going up until that point, but I lost all concentration. I kept watching those 4 women, trying to figure which one had shit in her panties and left them in the woods on the 13th tee.

Originally posted 2010-03-15 21:43:00.


Why you should never question someone about their bathroom trips

Tuesday, 29 July 2014


I have a history of diarrhea mishaps but probably the worst was at the gas station. I felt ill as pulled into the station and figured I would hurry my gas pumping up and get home to avoid the probable nasty gas station bathroom. I continued to fill my gas tank when my belly rumbled like thunder and gave me the indication it wouldn’t wait. I went into the gas station, asked for the key to the restroom, sprinted around the corner – cheeks clenched – and made it to the door just in time. Afterexploding the diarrhea out of me I payed for the gas, handed back the key and went to my car to leave then….. round two came up. My options were to risk the ride home and perhaps making a mess in my car or ask again for the key after returning it about three minutes earlier. I elected to ask for the key again. When I came back the guy asked me what was wrong so I told him I was sick. Apparently he was concerned I was stealing gas by drinking it and pissing it out in his dungeon bathroom. Regardless, I made it the bathroom once again but this time I left a bit of a mess on the back of the toilet and the floor. As soon as the runs stopped flowing I yanked my pants up, tossed the attendant the key and dashed to my car. The guy shouldn’t have questioned me…..now he knows.

Originally posted 2006-11-17 08:41:00.


Fake Flusher…

Monday, 28 July 2014

 As a female, the most horrific thing that can happen is the combination of a bad pooping experience combined with that particular time of the month.

I was in a public restroom and had just finished having a good shit, when I discovered there was only one or two squares of toilet paper in my stall.  That’s a bummer considering I also had my period.  I used what was there and then waited till I heard the last person leave, and quickly waddled over to an adjoining stall, pants around my ankles, to retrieve several fistfulls of additional paper.  Once I felt I had properly cleaned myself and was ready to pull up my knickers, lo and behold, the flusher wouldn’t budge.  What the…?

I looked at what lay in the bowl, and it can best be described as pure carnage.  Imagine the awfulness of the average dump, combined with so much blood that it looked like the slaughtering of someone’s actual bowels took place in the bowl.

Thank God Almighty I was still alone in the restroom at this time and I made a lightning quick decision.  I would hoist up my pants and get out of the stall as quickly as possible before anyone else came in.  Imagine someone waiting on you while you exit your stall, and then trying to explain why they cannot use that toilet.

Just in time I made it to the sink and was washing my hands when a drove of women came in and proceeded to fill all the stalls.  But not before I first confidently informed them that they should avoid that particular stall.  I said that some foul individual had not flushed the toilet after they used it.  One woman looked in and shrieked.  “What the?…..How disgusting!”  Another looked in and swore.  “What are people coming to these days?”, another one wondered.  I wholeheartedly agreed with them all while I finished drying my hands, never having once lied while completely getting away with my predicament.

Originally posted 2010-03-18 21:43:00.


Did you just have a bowel movement in your pants?

Monday, 28 July 2014


Back then they were very strict and basically they could treat the kids however they wanted. I/we got paddled for minor infraction almost daily. Most of the time it was in front of the whole class with our pants up, but I was also taken into the cloak room as it was called, and given a bare assed paddling on a few occasions. We were beaten across our palms with heavy rulers and made to stand in one position for hours while holding text books over our heads. You would not dare to ask to go to the bathroom during class hours unless it was an absolute emergency. Even then you may or may not be allowed to go. You were told that you should be able to control your bodily functions and to hold it till recess or until class ends. As a result the occasional accident was inevitable.
Well……
One morning while in the 3rd grade, I am running late for school. We had a single bathroom for all of us (mom dad and 4 kids ) so I did not get to poop in the morning like I was used to. It did not feel like I had to go that bad, only a little bit, so I figured I could hold it till recess at 10:00.
By the time class began at 8:00 I was regretting not pooping at home. My bowels were as full as they could be and I felt a rumble in my tummy that meant more was on the way.
“This is my own fault”, I thought to myself, “I will just have to suffer and hold it in till recess”. I bit my lip, sat straight up in my seat and clinched my butt checks tight together hoping for the best. Before long it was becoming unbearable. I could feel my anus starting to open from the inside and I began to sweat. In panic I raised my hand.
“What is it Mr. DiSalo?” Ms. Hogan was an old cranky bitch.
“May I please be excused, Ms Hogan, I have to go very bad.”
Her eyes narrowed with a look of contempt.
“We take care of our business before and after class. You’re old enough to be able to control yourself. You can wait another hour until recess.”
“But PLEASE I really have to…”
“ENOUGH! Don’t you understand English young man?”
“Now you can go stand in the corner for the next hour.”
As I stood up I lost control and felt a mass of poop force its way old into my tight fotl briefs. I squeezed as hard as I could trying to kept it in but I just couldn’t. It came in waves…some would come out…I would squeeze to stop it…then more would come… The kids sitting next to me heard and/or smelled it and began to giggle under their breath. I went to corner in the front of the class room and put my face in the corner.
“Mr. DiSalo…come over here.”
While standing in front her she bent over and sniffed. She wrinkled her ugly nose, smirked and asked way too loudly: Did you just have a bowel movement in your trousers, Mr. DiSalo?
There was a moment of silence before the whole class erupted in laughter and I burst into tears.
“QUIT!” The old witch shouted.
She sent me to nurse who called my mother to come pick me up. The nurse was very pretty had having to tell her what happened was very humiliating. She was kind and sympathetic and told me it happens to everyone once in while and that she was no exception. I remember thinking about it happening to her a started to laugh.

My mother was very angry. She scolded me all the way home. Once home I was told to strip. She cleaned my filthy bottom with paper towels (not gently either) and put me in the bath tub.
After the bath I was taken into her bedroom, put over her knee a spanked with a large marble hair brush she kept near her bed.

Originally posted 2006-10-14 10:22:00.


Learn to Poop Video

Sunday, 27 July 2014

pretty sure this kid gets his ass kicked daily…
Really?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAqGvXrDfng]

Originally posted 2008-08-23 02:30:00.


Fanuel Manure – A Desperate Poop Story

Sunday, 27 July 2014


It was a nice evening in Boston’s Fanuel Hall until the inevitable happened and this is how it unfolded. My wife and I had just finished a great dinner in the North End and headed back towards Fanuel Hall for some shopping. Anyone that knows Boston knows that it is a little bit of a walk back to Fanuel Hall from Hanover St. So, as we are walking I feel this pressure in my lower bowels that tells me there is going to be an exit of the Italian seafood I had inhaled about an hour ago sometime within the next five to ten minutes. I let my wife know that we should pick up the pace or I will most likley embarass the hell out As it turns out increasing the pace of our walk only sped up the movement in my GI system. All of a sudden I was froced to come to a halt because I could have sworn I had just been shot in the stomach with a 45 auto mag handgun. Negative, just the shit pains in my bowels. I then crossed my legs, started to sweat like a whore in church before confession and squeezed my ass cheeks together like I was trying my damndest to turn coal to diamond. The sensation passed somewhat. Enough time to find a friggen bathroom…..I thought. Come to find that the Dunkin Donuts did not have a bathroom. That’s when things took a turn for the worse……..in the middle of Fanuel Hall.

That irreversible shit cramp that can be best desribed as a pair of hit men going to work on my insides with a pair of vice grips and a blowtorch and that no matter how hard you squeeze the train is going to make it through the gates. I look at my wife and state in a loud fashion, “I gotta go right now!!!” I RAN to the nearest door and opened it only to find a stair case leading upwards (no chance) and a five star resturaunt door. I chose the restraunt. As I dashed through the resturaunt I made horrific noises out of my balloon knot that were not only loud and offensive but equal to in stench pier 9 on a ninety degree August day. I made it to the bathroom and the liquid shit is running through my asshole like a broken 18 inch water main. I slam the door to the single person bathroom, whip my pants down and splatter the entire toilet and a circumference of about 3 feet with crap. This was done with a loud fart taht sounded like a volcanic eruption. My underwear looks looked it was splattered with a chunky dunkachino from Dunkin Donuts, the toilet and wall resemble the bathroom of a crack house in Camden NJ. Not exactly typical for a five star resturaunt. and the smell can be best described as a bag of garbage left out in the sun for two weeks and then opened in a small environment. My underwear went right into the rubbish, I washed the lower half of my body in the sink with paper towels and tossed them into the rubbish, washed my pants out and put them on wet. When I opened the door to leave the bar tender had the look of fear in his eyes either from laughing or crying (not sure) and as I turned around half of the resturaunt was looking at me in horror and probably wondering why I am not sporting them their meals. The bar tender opened the door for me which led into a back alley and locked the door. After an hour I found my way back to my wife and took the trip home with a little less pride.

Originally posted 2007-06-18 10:14:00.