Shitty Stories

Monthly Archives: May 2007

Finally it
was my turn, I threw the money at the cashier and made a split decision…my
only chance was to make it home. I walked/ran home at an unprecedented
speed. Ran in the back door… only to hear the voice of a male on the
porch… could I really risk a boy coming upstairs after I had alleviated
myself.. the answer was yes… I ran up the stairs only to hear another male
friend’s voice in my roommate’s bedroom just inches from the bathroom…
knowing this boy the way I do.. I knew it would not be safe to shit in his
vi9cinity, surely a comment would be made if he discovered what I had just
done….. so I ran in the bathroom, grabbed a roll of toilet paper (thank
god I had the foresight) and headed the bathroom downstairs… no one ever
goes down there.. I would be safe. I flipped the switch to the bathroom…
it began to flicker.. and as I rushed in, it turned out. I could not shit in
the pitch black.. that I felt was just asking for trouble… but what could
I do?… I couldn’t go back upstairs… I would need a new light bulb… and
I rushed around the basement looking for light that had easy access….
as there was only 2 to choose from I chose the one without a fixture over
it. I couldn’t turn the light out before I ripped it out of its socket because the
light switch was upstairs and there was certainly no time to rush back to
the top of the stairs.. so I grabbed a stray shirt from the dryer to use to
shield my hand from the burns that would surely be delivered if I touched it
with my bare hand. I unscrewed it and in my frantic state shifted it from the
the hand with the t-shirt to the other scolding my fingers… but there was
no time for burn treatment so I ran into the dark bathroom… and was
confronted with a light fixture hanging by several oddly placed screws… I
ripped the screws out, I don’t even think I turned them and screwed the new
light bulb on with the speed of an electrician. Then I sat on the toilet,
relieved myself.. While at the same time nursing my burnt hand……