I had to go have an ultrasound and sonogram (internal), to discover how bad the endometriosis was and how it was effecting my insides. The appointment was very early in the morning, and I slept in late, so I had a bagel and went on my merry little way.
At the doctors I started to feel my tummy rumble a little. I didn’t think anything of it because I hadn’t eaten a real breakfast and was nervous about the diagnosis. So when it was my turn, I was in for a surprise.
The appointment when an hour longer then necessary. While they filled me up with fluids, I felt that similar rumble in my tummy. The doctor told me to use the restroom, and I told her I would be fine.
It wasn’t until I got home that shit hit the wall (literally).
I was out front of my parents house talking to my grandpa on the phone. My parents left to go to an auction, when it hit me. And I mean it HIT me. The cold sweats, the clenching of the meat cheeks, the heavy breathing… Everything. I tried to get off the phone, but my grandpa wouldn’t stop talking. I finally hung up on him, telling myself I would tell him my phone died.
I ran to the side door and grabbed the handle,keeping my thighs as close and as tight as I could. The door was locked. I waddled to the back door, having to stop every ten seconds because of the abuse on my chocolate starfish. The back door was locked. At this point, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to make it. I sat on the ground trying as hard as I could to keep it in, then decided it was time.
I started walking towards the back corner of the back yard, cheeks clenched and ass sticking out. Everything from my belly button down hurt. About halfway to the corner, it started. Liquid flowed from my ass crack and there was nothing I could to stop it. At this point I was sobbing, asking myself “WHY!?” over and over. I made it to the corner of the yard and it looked like someone sprayed a fire extinguisher full of shit all over the side of my parents shed. The worst part was, I have never seen ANYTHING in my life that green. I thought it was going to burn through the metal on the shed and leave holes in the ground. Straight up looked like melted pistachio ice cream mixed with green food coloring.
I squatted in the corner crying my eyes and asshole out for about ten mins, until I decided I was finished. It was EVERYWHERE! All over my pants, my leg, the shed, the ground… I was so pissed off at my parents for locking their doors. I knew I needed to take a shower, so I went around the house trying to force doors open. It was then I realized there was a window open. I hosed myself down a little so I wouldn’t drip acid green ass vomit all over the floor.
Ad I ed in through the window, my moms dog started growling at me. Pissed off at the world, I screamed at the top of my lungs… “SHUT UP I JUST SHIT MY PANTS!!” He tucked his tail between his legs, seemingly feeling sorry for me.
I ripped my clothes off and shoved them in the washing machine, and took a shower. When I came out, my parents were home. The first thing my mom said?
“What smells like shit?”
Originally posted 2010-05-28 15:17:00.