Somehow I always manage to have incidents the night before a big exam. The worst time was not too long ago on an evening when I was furiously studying in my bedroom. Starting to feel pretty queasy, I decided it was time for a potty break. In the bathroom all hell broke loose the minute I sat on the toilet. Thankfully it was quick and relatively painless. I finished up and headed back to my bedroom for more learning. Not 10 seconds later I realize there’s still noise coming from the bathroom – running water. Must’ve left the sink on, I thought, and got up to check. I opened the bathroom door to see water pouring over the toilet bowl. Water and chunks of poop, more specifically. Panicked I high-stepped it gingerly across the bathroom, avoiding the turds, and stopped the water (long ago learned how this is done from many a toilet overflow situation). Then I flung every towel in the bathroom onto the floor. Overwhelmed by the excrement surrounding me, my first thought was to address the high water level in the bowl which was teeming with even MORE feces (I had apparently pooped like a rabbit). I raced into the kitchen with soggy feet and flung open the cupboard. The single solitary ONLY cup sitting there was my roommate’s special plastic college mug. Luckily she wasn’t home. I grabbed it without a second thought and raced back to the bathroom where I started scooping poopy water into the shower. I can’t really say why I did this. Is having poop in your shower preferable to poop in your toilet? Arguably NO, but I guess I couldn’t handle the pressure of the situation. Once the toilet was empty I dealt with the poopy floor and then scraped all the stupid poop out of the shower. Squeegeed, scrubbed, everything was nice and clean. But the cup!! Wh! at was I going to do about the cup? Throw it away? But how could I explain the loss of the cup? I then seriously considered smashing it to explain why it could/SHOULD no longer be used, but it was plastic. Plastic doesn’t incidentally break. Then I entered a scary mindset where I decided that I was over-reacting. Just because I used my roommate’s special college souvenir cup to scoop poop water out of my toilet, didn’t mean it had to be retired. I delivered the cup to the dishwasher and ran a cycle. Since she still hadn’t arrived home yet I ran another. Then I put that cup back into the cupboard right where I’d found it hours before. Don’t know what I was thinking. Should’ve smashed the thing. Now every friggen day of my life I get to watch her drink from that cup and I want to throw up. Once a poop cup, always a poop cup.
Originally posted 2011-09-12 00:30:34.